Daily Archives: June 30, 2014

Posted by in Relationships on June 30, 2014

Over the weekend, I had three encounters with three different men. All with different intentions, but all trying somehow to win me over. If I could take the good out of all of them and put them into one person, that would be perfect, but sadly, all but one had some positives and negatives. I’m going to put a compilation of all the goods and the bads, to show potential suitors of any single mother what they want to hear, and what will send them away. But first I must outline the scenarios.

Encounter One: A married work colleague who I told only a few weeks ago that I wasn’t prepared to go out with him because I was tired of being someone’s second or someone’s secret, and he told me that he would contact me again in this capacity when he had moved out of home. However, he thinly disguised a ‘date’ by asking me to lunch to talk ‘business’ in a marketing capacity, which I didn’t really appreciate, but because it’s work, I sort of had to go.

Encounter Two: A brunch date with a guy I kissed back in high school, 27 years ago. We met up on Facebook about 18 months ago and have been keen to see each other since. He currently is in a committed relationship with a woman and they have a toddler, and home is almost 2000kms away. To me, it was a catch up chat and it would be awesome to see him after so long as a mate.

Encounter Three: A Skype date with my first love from about the same time frame as Encounter Two. We have been friends again for the last 5 years, but he lives in another country. I’m enjoying being friends with him, and we get along really well. It’s just hard that we live so far away, because we do have a lot in common, and we are currently both single. Thank goodness for Skype!

Negatives first I think….

  • Don’t be late. One of these men were over 20 minutes late and I was about to walk out. The other was waiting for half an hour for me (I turned up on time) and explained that he was early because he didn’t know how long it would take for him to get there. The other was right on time.
  • Don’t tell a woman that she had such a hot body when she was in high school and that she could do with some exercise now. Ummm… this is what happens when you’ve had 2 kids, and an exceptional amount of stress from a volatile marriage and then divorce. Live with it!
  • Don’t tell a woman that you think her kids are spoiled. As a single mum, you are both mum and dad, and you give your kids all you’ve got, and are self-sacrificing as a result.
  • Don’t tell a woman that you think that we should make a go of it, because we chatted for 2 hours and were never lost for words, so we must do it again. Ummm… you talk to be polite and to get to know someone. My longest first date ever was 5.5 hours of just talking, and you could feel the relationship growing as we went along, so 2 hours is nothing, and it means nothing.
  • Don’t tell another woman that your partner knows that you will never leave her. Doesn’t ever make the other woman feel any good about herself.
  • Don’t kiss and run.
  • Don’t try to get a woman drunk by buying 2 bottles of wine on a lunch date, hoping to seduce her. She is only going to think you are a pisshead and you have complete disregard for driving laws and the rest of society.
  • Don’t be arrogant.
  • Don’t put down the way she lives her life, believing that you have a better way of life.
  • Don’t take advantage of her time.
  • Don’t undermine her intelligence.
  • Don’t have your cell/mobile phone on. It will never make her feel important if you keep checking it or talking to it. Make her feel wanted.
  • Never make her sit and wait for you. There is nothing worse than feeling alone and out of place.
  • Don’t bring up the negatives from past relationships.
Positives:
  • Order for your woman. It’s nice to see a man take charge.
  • Pay for the date, but don’t be over the top in wasting money/showing off your wealth.
  • Compliment her… tell her she looks nice.
  • Smile at her from across the room, like you are mesmerised by her.
  • Laugh at your weaknesses, to show you are vulnerable too.
  • Enjoy her company.
  • Hesitate to say goodbye/end the date.
  • Tell her when there will be a next time… courage and confidence in knowing exactly when you can see each other again is always something to look forward to, for both parties.
  • Listen to her.
  • Give her your undivided attention always.
  • Take her for a walk after your meal… it’s nice to have a chat without having the background noise of a cafe/restaurant.
  • Stare at her affectionately, not like a stalker.
  • Engage in eye contact.
  • Talk about positive things in your life and bring out the positive things in your date’s life. 
  • Enjoy her.
  • Make her feel safe.
  • Acknowledge her children – either talk to them, talk about them positively or ask her to say hello to them. She is a package deal, and if you can’t accept them in her life, she can’t accept you.
  • Most importantly, MAKE HER LAUGH!
And then there is Encounter No 4 (a phone call today)… someone who knows I like him, does everything to flirt with me, feels compassionate about the fact that I like him, yet does nothing about it besides tease me with his irresistible wit and charismatic voice. Calls me today to ask for something (work related), then tells me that he gets to see me in a couple of days and is looking forward to it! AARRGGHH!! Super frustrating because he is single, local and we get along so well!
But then I guess it’s good to finally start getting some attention, even if the attention doesn’t always have the right intentions, it’s nice to feel wanted. Oh, the conflict!

Posted by in Adventure, Family on June 30, 2014

Last weekend, when we went to New Zealand, Dexter stayed with some friends in the country. My friend was nice enough to write Dexter’s diary while we were away… and here it is…

My Weekend away from my Family

Day 1.
Started out as normal although everyone was home on a  school/work day. That wasn’t normal but it was nice. We went for a drive and met Aunty G. Then I found myself in a strange car and my family was gone. I cried a bit, I tried to be brave, but I was a bit sad. Then the car stopped and I got out and I knew where I was. I had a sniff around and tried to lift my leg for a wee but was still a bit wobbly from my travel pills, so I just squatted. I tried to eat some kangaroo poo but Aunty G made me spit it out. We went inside and Rosy was surprised to see me. We played together for a while and had something to eat, then we went for a walk. That was fun! Rosy got to run around off the lead but I had to stay on mine. I still got to run though with Aunty G. When we came back, I decided to sit on the deck and wait for my family to come across the road from my house, but they didn’t come.


 I came back inside and played with Rosy for a while. Then Aunty and Uncle G had to go out for dinner, so I had to stay in the laundry but that was OK, cos I needed to rest by then. Luckily Mum put some puppy pads in my bag because I needed a wee while they were out. When they came home, we played a bit more and I forgot to go outside and did a poo in the office – Whoops! I didn’t get in trouble though. Rosy and I went outside for a wee then it was bed time. Back to the laundry for me. It wasn’t too bad, I was good and slept all night. I didn’t have to use the puppy bad again.

Day 2.
Uncle G got up early because he was working. He let me out for a wee and he let me stay in the lounge until Aunty G and Rosy got up. I just curled up on Rosy’s spot on the lounge.

Rosy was a bit grumpy when she got up and didn’t want to play, but she came around eventually and we played for a little while. I kept going out on the deck waiting for my family to come. I checked out the back yard to see if there was a way out but no luck. Oh Good! It’s walks time! We walked around to see Uncle V and Maggie, but Uncle V was in bed and wouldn’t get up, but we got to say hello to Maggie. We went to see a friend of Rosy’s… that was fun! Her name is Molly. I think she liked me because she kept following me around the backyard. When we got back we were really hungry after all the exercise, so we had a snack and a drink then we got really tired and had a nap… zzzzzzzzz….
Awake now and Uncle G just got home from work. We gave him a nice welcome. Rosy and I had some playtime. We were running around the lounge and chewing up pine cones. We made a bit of a mess but the old people didn’t seem to mind. 
It’s dinner time and Rosy’s having my puppy food. I know that smell, but they won’t let me have any. I’ve just got the same old boring dry food. Oh now it’s “Party Time” as Uncle V is here. He finally got out of bed!! After he went home we had some quiet time, watching TV, then it was bed time. I didn’t scratch at the door and I didn’t need to use the puppy pad… Aunty G was pleased.


Day 3…
Morning again and I had a good sleep. I had some toast for breakfast. I liked that. I spend some time outside in the fresh air, then it was walk time. I nearly got to eat some more kangaroo poo, but Aunty G’s right onto me! I don’t see the problem with it, I’m sure it’s gotta be better than dry food. I’m sitting in the lounge now watching football with Uncle G. I’m not really watching it, as I’m thinking about my family. Uncle V came over again for “Party Time.” There is a lot of partying going on in this home. While the olds were having their fun, Rosy and I had lots of our own fun playing. After Uncle V went home, we had a bit of quiet time watching TV then some more play time. I had a few treats tonight. Aunty G gave me a little bit of Rosy’s food and I wasn’t sick. And Uncle V brought some sausage rolls and they were really yummy. It’s bed time now, but I don’t really want to sleep in the laundry anymore. I’m trying to avoid it. I’m hiding on the chair hoping she won’t notice. Oh no, she found me. Now I’m off… to the laundry… It’s not so bad. Goodnight.


Day 4…
Uncle G woke me up this morning. When he let me out of the laundry I was having a lovely sleep. I went outside for a while then I went upstairs to say Good Morning to Aunty G and she gave me lots of morning cuddles. Rosy and I played tug of war then we had some bacon and egg for breakfast. Uncle J came over too, and he was nice to me. After Uncle J left I saw my family’s car come up the road, so I got extra excited. They came around the back and I was so happy to see them. I jumped over my brothers and they rolled on the floor with me. I enjoyed my time with Aunty and Uncle G and Rosy, but I was happy to go home with my family. Thanks for looking after me Aunty and Uncle G! xx