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Screenshot 2017-01-16 07.06.5130 years ago. How things have changed… 30 years ago was the being of the revolution of me! 1987 was a fabulous year for me where I outgrew the inwardly shy, bookish pre-teen and became a p0pular, still a little nerdy, ‘world is your oyster’ teen! Yes, 30 years ago I was thirteen years old and I was making waves. I was the Form Captain of my class, my beautiful best friend showed me what true friendship was all about, my best friend’s family showed me what it was like to be in a truly loving family, and I discovered that boys actually liked me. 30 years ago was the year I met Jon Bon Jovi on Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet tour. 30 years ago I took my violin playing more seriously and joined a local orchestra (where I met my first love!). 30 years ago I taught myself how to play the guitar. 30 years ago I had my first pop star crush in Noiseworks’ Jon Stevens.  And 30 years ago, I got straight As on my report card and I got the one and only present I have ever received from my father – a scientific calculator.

1987 was a fabulous year for me where I outgrew the inwardly shy, bookish pre-teen and became a p0pular, still a little nerdy, ‘world is your oyster’ teen! Yes, 30 years ago I was thirteen years old and I was making waves. I was the Form Captain of my class, my beautiful best friend showed me what true friendship was all about, my best friend’s family showed me what it was like to be in a truly loving family, and I discovered that boys actually liked me. 30 years ago was the year I met Jon Bon Jovi on Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet tour. 30 years ago I took my violin playing more seriously and joined a local orchestra (where I met my first love!). 30 years ago I taught myself how to play the guitar. 30 years ago I had my first pop star crush in Noiseworks’ Jon Stevens.  And 30 years ago, I got straight As on my report card and I got the one and only present I have ever received from my father – a scientific calculator.

1987 seems so far away now, yet like it could have been yesterday. As a thirteen-year-old, world events were remembered as ‘which celebrity died’ and ‘what songs were out at the time.’ Music was my life 30 years ago, and there was no time for world events or any other major issue, as let’s face it, being thirteen, is a fairly selfish time. So in saying that, with a more mature head on my shoulders now, can you believe 30 years ago the world stock market crashed – the crash that took the flamboyant 80s into interest rates of 20-per-cent. Australia lost 41.8-per-cent off the share market, which could have been the reason why my already thrifty parents threatened my existence at the time…

Looking at http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/1987.html, there are many things that are coming back. Margaret Thatcher became Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. What we would now call ‘terrorism’ happened in the capital of Sri Lanka, Colombo, where the Tamil Tigers planted a massive bomb killing 100 people. And talking about terrorism, the IRA were terrorizing Ireland and the UK and  Sikh terrorists target a Hindu bus in India killing 72. (really, when are we going to learn that religion is the resounding force behind the wars and hate in this world?).

30 years ago, Lethal Weapon came out in the movies, Fatal Attraction scared the living daylights out of me, Lionel Ritchie’s Can’t Slow Down cassette was the only pop music allowed to be played in my mum’s car and we all fell in love with Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Wall Street and Gordon Gecko possibly predicted what the end of 1987 would be like, Michael Jackson came out with the BAD album and I loved learning about Ritchie Valens and the fate of the last flight with the Big Bopper and Buddy Holly in La Bamba. And we were introduced to The Simpsons!

But to really rock your socks off… Prozac was first listed as a drug in 1987, the first criminal was convicted using DNA evidence, the Chunnel work began linking France and England, and, disposable contact lens came on the market.

We have come a long way since 1987 – one of the few years that will go down in history for defining who I am… a year that is predominantly happy memories and realisations.  What year would be the year that defined you?

 

 

 

I’m a bit of a fan of emojis, but I get a little confused sometimes if I’m using the right one. So I’m guessing, if I am getting a little confused about what the emoji faces actually mean, then others do too. And who knew that there was a subliminal meaning behind some of the food items in the emoji ‘hall of fame?’ Maybe emojis need some explaining…

OK, we all know the safe emojis – smiley face, sad face, crying face, and the winking face. But some of the faces seem to look more evil than happy… like grinning face with smiley eyes that look like a gritted teeth smile 😁 http://emojipedia.org/grinning-face-with-smiling-eyes/ And how do you get ‘mutual best friends’ out of the smiley face with cool sunglasses? 😎 http://emojipedia.org/smiling-face-with-sunglasses/

The more I look into this, the more I feel I’m confused. How does a kissing face with a loveheart 😘 mean less than a kissing face without one 😚? Apparently, the kissing face with love heart is just blowing a kiss, whereas the kissing face with closed eyes is more intimate.

Now why is there a ‘face without mouth’ emoji 😶, but ‘pouting face’ which I would refer to as something like ‘not fair in a cheeky way’, is printed as 😡  in the emoji dictionary of comical faces? Looks like bursting with anger, rather than a bit of playful ‘not getting your way’ banter. Apparently, ‘face without mouth’ is a silent emoji and will keep all your secrets.

There are even twin faces that have completely different meanings… there’s the pensive face 😔 (what went wrong?) and the relieved face 😌  – eyes the same, but I can see that the eyebrows slightly different. When you’re in a hurry trying to get the message across, you can see how they could be easily confused and send the wrong message. Grimacing face 😬 and grinning face with smiley eyes 😁 can send the wrong meaning too if you’re in a rush.

The one thing I really don’t get in the emoji world is all the different cat faces. Why would they have cat faces without dog faces? Seems a little prejudiced towards cat lovers than dog lovers, to me.

Only after watching an episode of James Corden’s The Late Late Show, did I realise that the eggplant 🍆 is considered the phallic emoji the peach 🍑 is considered the butt/bottom emoji, and anything from the tulip 🌷, to a pussy cat 🐱, the taco 🌮 or the praying hands 🙏 can be unofficially deciphered as a ‘vagina.’

So, there you have it… a crash course on emojis that you had no idea about, because they are so Gen Y, and we are so Gen X!

 

I was reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s discussion this morning about ‘doing good’ or ‘feeling free?’ And it conjured up all these emotions in me… She’s right… just because you are doing good in this world, doesn’t mean that you feel free in your body, in your heart or in your soul. There are a whole lot of emotions that make you feel trapped in a world you can’t call your own when you’re ‘doing good’ because in effect, you are doing good by everyone else and not yourself.

I’ve always tried to ‘do good’ but somehow, I’ve always got hurt or taken advantage. Hurt by family and friends, taken advantage of work colleagues, family, friends, kids, charities, the public, etc. And for all that I give in this world, I will be honest, I struggle with the fact that I may only get about 20% back. And that’s a hard fact when you keep soldiering on, day in day out, with no break from the pain in your heart, or the pulling and prodding that people and circumstances do to you. And whilst I am ever so grateful for the beautiful things in my life – my children, my dog, where I live, my lake house, my travels, my experiences, and some dear friends, and I know I am lucky and rich in so many ways, the hardest thing for me to accept is that I have no one to share my life with. It’s lonely being a single mum, when you have no one to talk over things with, no one to cuddle up to watch a movie, no one to give you that sense of relief that someone has your back when you need it. There’s a hole in your heart when there is no intimacy. I don’t have family as a back up, or a father for my children who wants to be a willing regular participant in their lives. It’s just me – raising my children and my fur puppy, working 2 self-employed jobs where most your days are on your own, and maintaining 2 homes.

I have all these dreams and aspirations to feel free, but right now I feel stuck. Stuck with being good but knowing at the same time I’m hurting myself. I’ve exploded to the size I was when I first left my husband, I’ve tried to be recognised for my writing talents (or maybe there isn’t a talent), my kids are hitting that teenage time when ‘cheeky’ and ‘defiant’ are the words of the day… And all I’ve wanted is someone to give me a break, and make me feel the big hard bubble in my chest go away.

There’s something to be said about your emotional state and how it affects your physical state. I have spent way too much money this year on shakes, gym memberships and weight loss programs to help me get rid of the excess, but I’ve put on an extra 6kgs instead. I’ve ensured I do 10,000-15,000 steps a day, I’ve been on and off with doing toning workouts, as well as walking 6kms most morning, and none of the weight is coming off. And I know it’s because I feel lumped with not feeling free within myself, that my physical being suffers.

I just know, if I had someone special in my life, someone to take some of my burdens away, someone to make me smile and feel like I belong, there will be a chance for my heart to feel free again. I know I can’t rely on that person, and I need to rely on myself to do it, but our human condition is to know that we belong, and that’s all I ask… to feel free.

 

 

The best version of yourself

How do you recreate the best version of yourself?

How do you recreate the best version of ourself?

Most of us have had that moment in life where we think, ‘I’d love to go back to when I was XX, life was so good then, I was the happiest I’ve ever been”.  So what’s stopping you?  You can’t turn back the hands of time or time travel (yet), but you can reinvent that sense of inner happiness in your life now.

The happy you was no doubt the inner you, at a time when life was less complicated and before the challenges of life starting weighing you down.  So how do you get back there?  Lay the foundations for the best version of you to grow on, here’s a few steps to get you going in the right direction.

First though, ask yourself this question – Would you want your children/loved ones to live this same life. Or would you like something better/happier for them? Lead by example.

Self Reflection

Self-reflection means ‘serious thought about one’s character and actions’.  When we reach that point in our lives where we aren’t satisfied with life, then that is the universe (or whatever you believe in) telling you that you are ready to make some changes in your life for the better.  You can choose to ignore the nudge you are getting, but nothing will change if you ignore it and you will have no-one but yourself to blame.  Self-reflection may make you aware of the unconscious self destructive behaviour that has shaped your life.  Are you ready to put yourself under the microscope?

Negative self-talk

“I can’t do it”

“I’m not smart enough to get a better job”

“I can’t leave him, no one else will ever want me”

Negative self talk can also be how we accept compliments.  If someone says you look great in that outfit, replying with ‘oh this old thing’, is a form of negative self talk.

The start of finding your inner self is changing how you talk to yourself.  Stop yourself before you say something negative. Replace it with something positive about yourself, make it habit to talk yourself up not down.  Won’t be long before the negative habit has been replaced by positive self talk.

Don’t judge

Did your mum ever say “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”?

To be the best version of yourself you need to get rid of negative talk completely, both from others and from yourself.  Remember, like attracts like.  You are in control of the type of energy you attract.

Don’t be a people pleaser

If you are a people pleaser, you no doubt put others first. Whilst it’s nice to think of others, don’t allow yourself to become a doormat.  People tend to pick-up on your need to be liked and can and will take advantage of you if you allow it. You will be amazed what happens when you put yourself first, you are throwing it out there that you are important and guess what, people will start treating you that way.

Stop procrastination

 Procrastinators sabotage themselves from becoming the best versions of themselves.

  • Make a list of all the things you loved about the time you were the best version of yourself.
  • Make a list of all the things you don’t like about the current version of you.
  • Eliminate the things you don’t like.
  • Start doing more of the things you love.

Appearance

When you were the best version of you, were you happy with the way you looked? Did you have long flowing hair or a cute bob cut? Who’s style did you idolise or emulate – was it Elle MacPherson for her natural beauty or Madonna for her contentious fashion? Could you develop a 2016 version of that same style? Do what it takes to reinvent your inner beauty into the person you felt most comfortable with. Your confidence will soar if you feel you are looking your best and after working through the self-reflection, your inner beauty will shine through.

Remember, maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.