Whether you have just started dating, are married or recently divorced and single, being more sexually uninhibited and relaxed about your needs will give you the confidence to expect (demand) fabulous sex.
Did you know that about 15-20% of women have never achieved orgasm?
Growing up in the 60’s, 70’s & 80’s you would have been led to believe (generally speaking) that women’s enjoyment of sex was mostly emotional. To some extent it was I guess. Girl loves boy, wants boy to love her, so has sex. But from most women’s recollection the boy wasn’t all that interested in your orgasm, only his own! And we didn’t know how to ask for it. That was due to a lot of reasons:
Do you recall hearing guys saying things like “nice girls don’t enjoy sex like guys do”. So we were conditioned into believing that if we like sex we must be a slut and if we ask for more enjoyment we are by default, a slut.
And of course if you happen to enjoy sex right from the get go and are pretty good at it, you are probably just naturally gifted and/or confident. But guys don’t tend to believe that, they assume that you MUST have had sex with lots of guys to get that good. Screw you! That’s an insult to say that the ONLY way a girl can be good at sex is because she was taught how to be by a guy.
So what did all those guys do? They married the nice girl who wasn’t sexually experienced, and assumed that she wasn’t good at it because she hadn’t been taught (nice girls haven’t had previous partners). And guess what? It backfired in a big way when they discovered that they now have a wife/partner that isn’t really into sex. Now there’s a glut of 45+ divorced men that are looking for the girl they should have married in the first place – but that’s another story!
It’s Your Decision to Have Sex
You can’t turn it on like a switch. Personally, I’ve always struggled with being business woman during the day, mum from 6-11, then hopping into bed exhausted and flipping the switch to sex kitten. You won’t be into it if you decide to be sexual because your partner is begging you.
Do the Research
Have you ever checked out your lady parts? If not, now is the time. How can you expect a guy to know where to find that sweet spot if you don’t know where it is or what it looks like (or feels like!) Take a mirror and see what’s there. Vagina’s come in all shapes and sizes and to be honest, guys don’t care what they look like when they are lucky enough to see one ‘in the flesh’ so to speak. The major parts are your outer lips, your inner lips and your clitoris. Once you are comfortable with and easily able to have a clitoral orgasm other types of orgasms will be easier to achieve (that’s in the advanced course).
Self-Pleasure Because You Deserve It
You’ve heard the expression “there’s only two types of guys, masturbators and liars”? Well I suspect that’s true. But the same does not go for girls. Lots of girls don’t masturbate. Have never masturbated. Will never masturbate. Why? Who knows, it’s a mystery to me. Perhaps it’s religious or raised by parents that drilled into them that it’s dirty (a lot of women had one of those mothers).
It’s a given that women who masturbate have more sexual confidence. A good place to start is to order a vibrator online and have it sent right to the house. You can get discreet vibrators that come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Or if you aren’t ready to get a vibrator, start with your fingers.
Practice masturbating a few times a week to start. You will begin developing an appetite for being sexual with better frequency if you are being sexual on a regular basis. You will also begin building sexual self-confidence as you learn how your body reacts and what feels good to you. I recall as a new mother I was told “the more your baby sleeps, the more she’ll sleep”. Same goes for sex. The more you get the more you’ll want. You just need to get over the hump (pardon the pun).
When you are confident enough, ask your partner if he would like to go toy shopping together. I bet the answer will be yes, and the rest will be history.
If women watched porn as often as men do, they would have much high libidos. Of course guys watch so much of it when they are teenagers that it’s almost impossible to ‘feed the beast’.
Some women feel more comfortable adopting a persona (Role Play), and if that’s what it takes, great. There are thousands of sites that can give you inspiration. A majority of women I spoke to don’t have time for long porn movies, luckily they plenty of eye-candy tantalisation on their Tumblr accounts that are short & sweet when in need of inspiration.
Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved
Finally, you and your partner are coming at it from different angles so you need to make sure you set the scene to give you what you need i.e. romance. Teach him that the more he gives, the more you will give. It’s a win/win. Tell him to meet you in the bedroom. Have an intimate dinner prepared or a glass of wine first to have some connection to each other.
Great sex creates stronger relationships. If you are both looking after each other sexually, you have much less chance of becoming one of those 45+ statistics.
I’m not talking about women’s versus men’s clothing sizes either. A recent online dating experience has me pondering the question. A guy can ask “What size are your boobs?” and if we are inclined to answer, we can say 12B, 14D, 16DD and they have an instant visual of what they must look like, which is handy for them, correct? Thanks to our bra’s having tags, our size assessment can be verified.
But what about when a woman wants to know what the guy is packing? We can’t see it. It’s not on show like our boobs are. It’s just not fair. Where’s the equality? Have you ever asked a guy how big his penis is? Nine times out of ten you get ‘its average’. Then you get the others that say ‘I’ve never measured it, as long as it works I’m ok about it’. That’s all well and good, but a Mini Cooper still ‘works’ technically, but let’s face it, we’d all prefer a 528i BMW if we are going for mid-sized comfort & a Ford Bronco for good size versus power ratio!
Now imagine if men purchased underwear based on their size. You could stalk the isle of your choice! There could be Training cup ‘A’ for the North Koreans to the large ‘G’ cups for those Congo men. Imagine if we could ask them ‘what size ‘cup’ are you? And even funnier, if the ‘cup’ came padded for those circumcised heads that haven’t got that added protection, kind of like the gel inserts for bra’s. Would they go red faced or see it as a bragging yard stick? The Gods of underwear (and men) wouldn’t allow it. For most it would bruise their ego. But it would be closer to true equality, wouldn’t it? I can just see it now, men buying DD underwear to brag about whilst wearing the B cups in secret.
So I’ve done the research (some of it with willing subjects – wink) to provide you with the facts about ‘what is average’. But first there’s the official word on it:
The average erect penis size for Australian males is 15.7cm in penis length (approx 6 inches) and 13.2cm in penis girth (approx 5 inches) which is the circumference measurement and the true measure for thickness of the penile shaft.
That still doesn’t help does it? What constitutes ‘Australian’? We are a multicultural melting pot that are a genetic mix. And what if they are the rare ‘micro penis’? That can happen in any ethnic group and those poor buggers could have a penis of around 2 inches. Yikes!
Just for the fun of it, I have compiled the list of average size by country with the top place going to Congo at 7.06 inches and in 100th place is North Korea with 3.80 inches. Now we know why Kim Jong-un is such an angry little man!
Apparently there is NO scientific correlation between the size of a man’s hands, feet or height to tell you how big he is. This is grossly unfair! Our boobs are on show, they can ogle them any time they please and decide if we suit their preference for big or small boobs.
However, I have tested this theory over the years and know that whilst the hand size itself is no real indication, there is another measure of the hand that is fairly accurate. Here’s how it works:
Have your prospective lover bend their middle finger (rude finger) down as far as it will reach (see illustrations), then straighten it back to normal position. That distance is a fair indication of length when erect.
Try it out on some male friends, it’s always fun to see them close their eyes and imagine their own penis when hard. The reaction is usually ‘yep, that’s about right’.
So ladies, the options are: 1. Be brave and ask them straight out how big (or small) they are or 2. Do the hand test.
The final word on the subject is: Size DOES matter!
How do you have sex like a man? The trick is to compartmentalise your life! Men seem to do it intuitively, so why can’t women?
Keeping everything in its own box and not giving it your attention or energy until you are in the right time and place to be able to deal with it would be awesome right? No messy emotions spilling over at work, no guilt about having a night of passion and worrying if your date is looking for something you aren’t. How simple would life be if women compartmentalised? And if we could master this, I wonder if the table would be turned on who had the greatest gender power. Seriously, I think men rely on women being less emotionless, it’s how we end up getting hurt because we were thinking it was a long term relationship and developed feelings, only to discover that he just saw it as a bit of fun. Not all men compartmentalise of course, it could be a personality trait rather than a gender ability. If so, women are capable of doing it too!
Fun Fact: The emotional part of the brain is only a fraction the size of the other regions, so maybe if women stopped exercising the emotional region it wouldn’t be as strong. It’s worth considering!
Compartmentalisation is a HUGE job. So let’s just look at the sex part as a start because let’s face it,it’s where we need the most help with separation of head and heart!
Having spoken to numerous women on the subject, here’s my how to guide:
I’m not saying this is going to be easy, as traditionally women aren’t wired that way. It will take discipline and training of your mind and emotions. But once you master this ability to have sex like a man you will feel empowered, independent and able to put more energy into having the career, family life and friendships that will make you fulfilled as you have never been before.
As with men, you can have your cake and eat it too!