The South Island of New Zealand – Last week we came home after having a combined family/adventure holiday in the South Island of New Zealand. We explored a lot of countryside, taking in most of the area south of Christchurch and some along the east coast up to Kaikoura. Our aim was to go over and spend sometime with my cousins who live there, and also do some adrenaline sports, however, due to weather restrictions and some sunburn, we didn’t get too far with the adrenalin sports. Maybe next time. So here is a photo diary of what we got up to and where we went!
Whether you have just started dating, are married or recently divorced and single, being more sexually uninhibited and relaxed about your needs will give you the confidence to expect (demand) fabulous sex.
Did you know that about 15-20% of women have never achieved orgasm?
Growing up in the 60’s, 70’s & 80’s you would have been led to believe (generally speaking) that women’s enjoyment of sex was mostly emotional. To some extent it was I guess. Girl loves boy, wants boy to love her, so has sex. But from most women’s recollection the boy wasn’t all that interested in your orgasm, only his own! And we didn’t know how to ask for it. That was due to a lot of reasons:
Do you recall hearing guys saying things like “nice girls don’t enjoy sex like guys do”. So we were conditioned into believing that if we like sex we must be a slut and if we ask for more enjoyment we are by default, a slut.
And of course if you happen to enjoy sex right from the get go and are pretty good at it, you are probably just naturally gifted and/or confident. But guys don’t tend to believe that, they assume that you MUST have had sex with lots of guys to get that good. Screw you! That’s an insult to say that the ONLY way a girl can be good at sex is because she was taught how to be by a guy.
So what did all those guys do? They married the nice girl who wasn’t sexually experienced, and assumed that she wasn’t good at it because she hadn’t been taught (nice girls haven’t had previous partners). And guess what? It backfired in a big way when they discovered that they now have a wife/partner that isn’t really into sex. Now there’s a glut of 45+ divorced men that are looking for the girl they should have married in the first place – but that’s another story!
It’s Your Decision to Have Sex
You can’t turn it on like a switch. Personally, I’ve always struggled with being business woman during the day, mum from 6-11, then hopping into bed exhausted and flipping the switch to sex kitten. You won’t be into it if you decide to be sexual because your partner is begging you.
Do the Research
Have you ever checked out your lady parts? If not, now is the time. How can you expect a guy to know where to find that sweet spot if you don’t know where it is or what it looks like (or feels like!) Take a mirror and see what’s there. Vagina’s come in all shapes and sizes and to be honest, guys don’t care what they look like when they are lucky enough to see one ‘in the flesh’ so to speak. The major parts are your outer lips, your inner lips and your clitoris. Once you are comfortable with and easily able to have a clitoral orgasm other types of orgasms will be easier to achieve (that’s in the advanced course).
Self-Pleasure Because You Deserve It
You’ve heard the expression “there’s only two types of guys, masturbators and liars”? Well I suspect that’s true. But the same does not go for girls. Lots of girls don’t masturbate. Have never masturbated. Will never masturbate. Why? Who knows, it’s a mystery to me. Perhaps it’s religious or raised by parents that drilled into them that it’s dirty (a lot of women had one of those mothers).
It’s a given that women who masturbate have more sexual confidence. A good place to start is to order a vibrator online and have it sent right to the house. You can get discreet vibrators that come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Or if you aren’t ready to get a vibrator, start with your fingers.
Practice masturbating a few times a week to start. You will begin developing an appetite for being sexual with better frequency if you are being sexual on a regular basis. You will also begin building sexual self-confidence as you learn how your body reacts and what feels good to you. I recall as a new mother I was told “the more your baby sleeps, the more she’ll sleep”. Same goes for sex. The more you get the more you’ll want. You just need to get over the hump (pardon the pun).
When you are confident enough, ask your partner if he would like to go toy shopping together. I bet the answer will be yes, and the rest will be history.
If women watched porn as often as men do, they would have much high libidos. Of course guys watch so much of it when they are teenagers that it’s almost impossible to ‘feed the beast’.
Some women feel more comfortable adopting a persona (Role Play), and if that’s what it takes, great. There are thousands of sites that can give you inspiration. A majority of women I spoke to don’t have time for long porn movies, luckily they plenty of eye-candy tantalisation on their Tumblr accounts that are short & sweet when in need of inspiration.
Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved
Finally, you and your partner are coming at it from different angles so you need to make sure you set the scene to give you what you need i.e. romance. Teach him that the more he gives, the more you will give. It’s a win/win. Tell him to meet you in the bedroom. Have an intimate dinner prepared or a glass of wine first to have some connection to each other.
Great sex creates stronger relationships. If you are both looking after each other sexually, you have much less chance of becoming one of those 45+ statistics.
Check it out here!!
Thanks to Xlibris, I have 10 tokens to give away a FREE eBook of “On the Road to the Best Orgasm Ever” – the story of Sarah’s triumph in finding happiness in all the right and wrong places. If you would like to read this riveting new book, that’s going to be the talk of the town in London, New York, Frankfurt, Beijing and Mexico this year, send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with your name, age and email address, so I can send your unique promo token. Promo ends April 10, 2015.
Talking to many people, they have asked where can they buy my book. They love the title, thinking it’s a little cheeky, not sure if it’s a ‘how to book’ so I tell them it’s a contemporary women’s fiction novel and if you have to put it into a box, it’s a little bit of ‘Eat Pray Love’ finding yourself with a little bit of raunchy ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ without the bondage! It’s a self-discovery journey of finding your ‘orgasmic’ happy place in life!
Comments I’ve had so far have ranged from ‘I wish I had a Steve!’ to ‘I can so relate to what Sarah has been through.’ So there is something for everyone!
‘On the Road to the Best Orgasm Ever’ can be found at:
Jeffrey’s Bookshop – 140 Glenferrie Road, Malvern VIC 3144 Australia
Directly through this website: www.suzyjbrown.com/shop
and through your iTunes account.
In the future weeks, it will be in more bookstores and more on-line bookstores, and for book store owners, there will be a returnable option through Ingram distributors.
So get on board, and enjoy ‘the road’ less travelled in “On the Road to the Best Orgasm Ever!”
Just want to let you know that ‘On the Road to the Best Orgasm Ever’ is now available at Jeffreys Books, 140 Glenferrie Road, Malvern Victoria 3144 (Australia!). If you want to grab a copy, head on down to feel the tangible, beautiful book that it is! RRP $29.95
My boys are at the age now that they need to know the ‘value’ of a dollar… as are many of their friends. And the topic came up today, as we watched five hours of hockey in a round robin tournament… ‘What’s the best way to handle pocket money?’
We all feel like we are putting our hands in our pockets way too often and our children aren’t appreciating it. I must admit, I have pulled in the reins this year, only because I sold so much of the boys things last year, expecting to move overseas temporarily, that I needed to replace the things that we no longer had when they needed them, which essentially meant, birthdays and Christmas last year weren’t as special, because I had been buying new things for them throughout the year. So this year, I’ve told them that I won’t be buying them new things, unless it’s their birthday or Christmas, and if they want something, they must save for it… so I’ve introduced regular pocket money.
It was all agreed by the parents I talked to today that pocket money is ‘earned,’ not just assumed that it will always be there. Chores for 9-12 year olds included emptying the dishwasher, putting clothes away after they had been washed & folded (and ironed if necessary), cleaning the cars (inside and out), keeping their rooms clean, putting their dirty washing in the laundry and vacuuming. Some parents also included a reduction in pocket money if they had been overly naughty or not getting along with their siblings.
One parent suggested he gave his 7th grader $100 per month as pocket money, but that had to pay for all the things that she wanted. If she wanted to see a movie with her friends, buy some fashion shoes (not school shoes or runners), get candy from the canteen at hockey, buying gifts, toys, video games, etc. She was also expected to save some of that $100. For her 5th grader brother, as his social requirements aren’t as busy as a 7th grader, he received $40 a month… and being a boy, he wasn’t interested in non-regulation shoes and possibly not old enough to be wanting to see movies with his friends as his older sister. Their father figured he’d actually save money with this pocket money plan, because he was constantly putting his hand in his pocket for their ‘needy’ requests, so now, if they want something, they need to be organised and have the money they are prepared to spend always on them.
Another parent gave their 6th grader and 4th grader $2 a week in pocket money, but had extra jobs where they could make more money, however their pocket money capped at $10 a week, as sometimes they would try and do the extra jobs more than what was necessary. That parent also put away $5 and $4 a week respectively into their children’s bank accounts for their weekly chores, so that they were constantly saving. Their $2 a week, essentially went towards any toys, iPad apps or computer games they wanted. This parent thought that if they really wanted something, they would set themselves a goal and save for it, allowing them to have the concept of ‘striving’ for something if it was worthwhile.
Other incentives were academic based. If they upped their grades in a particular subject for each test they would get $20. If they upped their grades at the end of each semester they received $80. If they could read a 200 page novel in 3 days, they received $20, or if they could blitz a scholarship exam, then they would receive a hefty bonus.
Whatever pocket money scheme we set for our children, it needs to support their need to help the family unit, their goals if they are materialistic or academic, and their understanding of stretching the dollar for all that they can. I think pocket money should be a positive enforcement, and if money is taken away because they have been overly naughty or getting bad grades, there needs to be a scheme that allows them to rectify the situation. We don’t get money taken off us in a work environment for bad people skills or not getting the job done, and most jobs have incentives to make us work harder, if it’s salary based or commission base, so why should we show our kids that money is taken away if we do something wrong? If you do something wrong too many times, yes you lose your job, but how do you convey that in a pocket money situation? You can’t… and it probably isn’t fair to show your children the pitfalls of the power of an employer in that 4th grade to 8th grade age group.
Pocket money, no matter what age, needs to be introduced the minute your child takes advantage of your ‘bottomless’ pocket of money. Because as soon as they know that it runs out, the more they will appreciate it.