For the last four or so months, my life has been consumed with ridding myself free from my past life. I’m almost at the point where I can start my new life, as I’ve sold the house, almost sold the car, in fact almost sold everything that isn’t bolted down to prove that my past life had more debt than assets and the only winners in this whole thing were the lawyers… And as the points have been proven, the weight has been slowly coming off my shoulders.
So in saying that, with my personality being strangled by the life I was so desperate to leave behind and now seeing that I will soon be able to move on, am I coming back to the self that everyone wanted to know twelve or so months ago? I’m thinking I am… and the signals are definitely there…
I took my boys out to the movies tonight to see Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill. The movie prior to ours was running ten minutes late, and we weren’t sure if we were in the right cinema. There was a man their with his son, who seemed to thinking the same thing. We decided to go to the box office to ask if they had changed cinemas, as you never hear of a session running into the next movie session’s time, but they assured us that it was running late, and we should be in the cinema sooner than later. So while we waited, this six foot three inch solid bloke started chatting with me. His son chatted with my sons. It was all so friendly, that the boys decided to sit in the middle three seats of the five seated row, making the man sit at one end, and me at the other. I was relieved, as I didn’t want to be sitting next to a complete stranger in the dark because our kids were getting along. Who knows what would have happened? He was nice and all, but I’m just not interested in starting something.
Fifteen or so minutes into the movie, he mentioned from across the kids that there was something wrong with the sound. And then I heard it. It was definitely annoying – a rustling sound under the track like the ‘tape’ wasn’t going through the machine properly. The sound issue disappeared at a point that I can’t recall and the movie was enjoyable to see.
At the end of the movie, he started asking questions “Do you think your boys enjoyed it? What was their favourite part?” Questions that I couldn’t answer because I haven’t even asked them myself. We all walked out of the cinema, and before we reached the stairs, he reached out his hand and said “I’m Fabian,” and I told him my name and shook his hand. We walked towards the front of the building, as my boys kept chatting to his son, and before it got too awkward I said to the boys, “Didn’t we park out the back?” and they said “Oh yeah.” We said our goodbyes and walked to our car.
I’m really not ready to let anyone new in to my life. Not here. Not now. I’m focused on starting a new life when I leave my home, but that’s still 6 weeks away and there is so much to do between now and then. But I guess, I’m happy that I don’t seem to have that ‘stay away’ persona anymore. My heaviness is going, but not completely gone, and my outlook is looking a little more chipper… I found five dollars on the footpath today. I got a new client yesterday. I received two free movie tickets yesterday (hence the trip to the movies tonight!). Things are starting to look up again… just need to keep the positive vibe going and life will lead me on the path of excitement and fulfilment. Well, that’s the plan anyway 🙂