Divorce, death and taxes

Posted by in Life choices, Relationships on November 8, 2012 0 comments

I wouldn’t have my real estate copywriting business if it there weren’t divorce, death and taxes. Believe it or not, a very small percentage of homes get sold because people want a sea change, a tree change, they’ve outgrown their home or their family have left the nest. At the moment, agents are suggesting that 60% of properties put on the market are due to separations/divorces, there are a good percentage of deceased estates and the rest are developers/investors doing what they can to make a living and avoid paying too much tax.

So why are there so many divorces at the moment? Has it always been like this? It’s hard to say… They have definitely always been there, and we, as freelancers to the trade, see them in all shapes and sizes – bitterness, friendliness, situations where renovations haven’t been completed as if ‘he’ does the renovations with his time and effort, ‘she’ will benefit from it, and he doesn’t want her to benefit, so they sell the home with a stack of floorboards in a pile instead of nailed to the joists, ducted heating vents not connected but just lying there in the dirt under the home and kitchen appliances sitting in boxes unopened.  I get to talk to many of them – some are distraught and never saw it coming, others were relieved when their partner suggested that they should separate and move on with their lives.

But if it weren’t for these life changing moments – births, deaths, divorce, job promotion, weddings, disease, accidents and business decisions, this world would not revolve… life would stay stagnant for so many who rely on ‘change.’ So why are so many reluctant to change? They stay in the same house for 50 years, they stay in an unhappy marriage for similar years always bickering, nothing isn’t good enough but they accept that the negativity in their marriage is what keeps their marriage going. Shouldn’t we concentrate on what makes us happy rather than what keeps the wheels turning? What happens when the wheel stops turning and your spouse dies? What have you got then? No one to be bitter to, no one to blame for what they didn’t do, no one to criticise, no one to lie to… and in the end, all you are is a bitter lonely unappreciative person with no one to take your crap from you anymore. Why would you EVER want to get yourself to that stage? Why can’t you recognise that there is more in life than being Marie and Frank on ‘Everyone Loves Raymond’ meddling in everyone else’s lives and not seeing what the truth is behind their own life? And the reality is… many people are seeing it, having the courage and letting ’till death do us part’ go.

Some say they love their spouse literally because they don’t know if they could ever love someone else… they are so used to being with someone who takes the verbal and emotional abuse from them, that they couldn’t foresee someone else being their ‘lackey.’ But is giving verbal and emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse truly loving someone? I don’t think so… How can someone deeply care for someone, deeply love someone in their heart and constantly abuse them without any concern, apology or recognition that they are doing it? All they are doing is ‘controlling’ their spouse… they don’t love them. It’s not fair on the children, it’s not fair on friends and it’s certainly not fair on the weaker spouse who is subjected to the bullying… and sometimes, for the weaker spouse, they have no idea that it’s happening until they see that they shouldn’t be subjected to this constant hatred, yelling and anti-social behaviour, that they don’t need to walk around with a heavy noose around their neck or a weight in their heart. There is a way to find happiness.

I remember when I chose to leave my husband and the number of people who told me how courageous I was for doing so. I thought it was a funny thing to say at the time, but 3 years later, and I understand why. It is hard going through a divorce and child custody issues when you have an unrealistic ex-spouse who still wants to maintain control, especially when their life has taken such a dramatic fall to the ground. He had a rude awakening when he was left with not enough money to pay his legal fees. And our fight isn’t over yet… but that’s another story.

But with my business, divorce, death and taxes are definitely things that I can count on for getting me by… oh, and interest rate changes! People either have to sell when they can’t afford their mortgage anymore, or want to make that change when interest rates are cheap… and it’s all to do with change, making the world go round, and just not fighting it, going with it and enjoying the ride. If only people were more realistic and accept that change is here, take responsibility for it, knowing that we can’t do anything about it and just move with the groove… life would be a more enjoyable ride for all.

Bring on change to give the world a new sense of happiness… 🙂