…wish that someone would step inside your shoes for a day and see what it’s really like to be a single mother? Where they see what ‘a flexible’ job really means so that you can fit your children’s lives in between? Where you cope with all the sleep deprivation as every small cough that comes from the next room wakes you out of that REM sleep? Where you feel embarrassed putting in ready made meals into the shopping cart because you literally haven’t time to prepare a freshly-made meal, even though you dearly want to? Don’t you just wish someone could just see exactly what you go through to have a small amount of appreciation of exactly what you do in your day?
I watched part of an episode of ‘The View’ while having a rare ‘sit down and eat some lunch’ time today (for me) and they talked about a ‘Celebrity Wife Swap’ where a celebrity with one child and a beautiful husband (and a nanny, cook and housekeeper) would be swapping her life with a single mother of 8 children (one set of twins (12 year olds) and one set of sextuplets (8 year olds)). Her ‘manual’ for keeping her children organised and her day sane was so particular, it included things like the children will be coming downstairs for breakfast at about 6.03am, homework for the older children needs to be started by 4.12pm, brush teeth before bed at 7.26pm, etc. The celebrity mother couldn’t understand why it was so exact, as the celebrity’s life included so much ‘me time’ to enjoy her beauty schedule, physical activity and social life. She also had a husband who kept her happy and believed that if ‘she’ was happy, the whole family will be happy. The single mother understood that, as she felt if her children were happy, she would be happy to. It was so refreshing for me to hear that this single mother felt that her children’s happiness is what made everything worthwhile, and being a mother WAS NOT A CHORE!!!
I am so tired of hearing mothers saying parenting is hard work, as I completely disagree with it. If you love your children, if you love being there for them, then how can parenting be a ‘chore’ or ‘hard work?’ Love should never be ‘hard work,’ love comes from the heart and you do what comes from your heart to remain happy. It seems to me that the only ones who think it is hard work are those who are selfish.
So as I get ready for another 6am start to get work done in the quiet of the morning before the boys wake up, but struggle to sleep because my head is full of work things to complete before my 9am deadline in the morning, as it is every weekday morning, I end up watching re-runs on TV to quiet my mind till 1am, 2am or even 3am or surf the web for feel good stories to put some perspective in my life that ‘life really ain’t that bad, it’s just busy.’ I still would love a day where someone close to me would step in my shoes and realise how much I pack into a day and appreciate me more for it…. as the only ones who do seem to appreciate me and all the self-sacrificing I do for my boys, my work and many others in my life, are my boys, as they see it every day.