Posted by in Life choices on January 22, 2013 0 comments

I heard some interesting news today about someone who was once close to me, and the friendship is no longer due to differences of values, responsibilities and our friendship just faded away. He has booked himself an expensive holiday while his ex-wife works and looks after their children full time, and he takes on no financial or physical responsibility for his kids. (Almost sounds like my ex husband!!)

So while he’s out having a great time, traveling the world, his ex-wife struggles to put food on the table because he doesn’t pay his child support. He’s told his brothers and sisters that he doesn’t have to pay child support because his ex-wife ended up with everything when they settled their property.

The person who told me the story said the ex-wife is upset for her kids that her ex isn’t doing the right thing by them, but is tired of getting angry with him anymore. She sees it as wasted energy and somehow, she knows deep down, that karma will come back to him when he least expects it.

And I was thinking, it’s true. The universe has a unique way of making life bad for those who don’t do the right thing by society or even their own kids. The universe will somehow show this ‘dead beat dad’ what his responsibilities to his kids actually are.

Why do us single mums worry about what our stupid ex-husbands or partners do when they don’t live up to the responsibilities of being a father? A father who financially supports his children, a father who spends quality time with them in his time, a father who actively participates in their activities, look after them when they are sick, a father who is not just ‘fun dad’ but also ‘parental dad.’ As long as the single mums are doing the right thing by their kids, then we shouldn’t have to worry about why our kids are being let down constantly by their former partners, and just show them the love that they have from you, and that’s all that matters. Our children will cherish that more and realise who’s always been there for them and not worry about who they are missing in their lives.

It’s interesting… but my youngest son has been saying for about 12 months now that he ‘wishes he had a dad again.’ Not ‘his’ dad, or ‘the’ dad, just a dad who could do male things with him. And I get that. You don’t have to be a blood relation to give a child the joy of feeling wanted, looked after or have a bond that’s similar to that of a father and son. And I’m glad my youngest son now gets it.

I don’t have to tell my kids anymore how much their father is self-centred, they know. They have been hurt enough by his lies and lack of action and attention to know who he is. Karma will always deal him a bad break until he does right. He will constantly blame the world for his misfortunes, and that’s his problem, as it is my ex-friend’s problem, not mine or my ex-friend’s ex-wife’s problem, so there’s no need to worry anymore… just enjoy the love and life you have with your kids and cherish every moment.