Letting Go of the Old, and Moving on with the New

Posted by in Life choices, Relationships on March 18, 2013 0 comments

So many love stories never end, because one person, or maybe both people, are always holding onto the hope that one day they may be together again. It’s usually the stories where time and circumstance don’t allow their love to blossom in traditional ways – either hampered by distance, families or work commitments, and as we get older, we become more selfish because we have dependents to think about, ex-partners (or your children’s parents) to think about and we have our own sets of goals and aspirations we want to achieve. So in saying that, it is increasingly difficult to find someone who suits your current and future needs when there are so many complicated variables.

When you make that decision to let the other person go, and usually it’s a mutual decision when time and circumstance conflict with your present, that person stays long in your heart, and in can be so difficult to let someone else in, because that person was so perfect for you in every single way, except ‘time and circumstance.’ So you continue to hold on, or look for someone with the exact same qualities your perfect person had who can fulfil you the way he or she did.

But is holding on to the thought of finding a lover of exactness who fits into your life’s schedule, actually stopping you from finding someone who is just as compatible yet completely different? Possibly… as your energy is focused only on one thing… finding a replica of the person you love, or to be back in their arms.

For most, it takes months to get over the love they can’t have, but for others, it’s years. But there is no animosity for the fact that time and circumstance were in the way, as you know in your heart that your love was pure, and you could never think bad of how everything fell away.

So how do you move onto the new? You focus on other parts of your life that give you fulfilment… your children, your career goals, your love for life, nature, travel, sport, music, art, friends, family anything… that will give you the comparable satisfaction that you once had with your lover. When you have so many factors in your life pulling you in too many directions, you simply can’t afford to allow another element into your life unless there is genuine mutuality that makes your heart warm, your smile shine and your soul glow.

You get to a point in your life that all complications must be taken out of your life to allow new, heartwarming, smile shining, soul glowing things to enter. You know that simplicity is the key – it’s spending time with your children, enjoying the silence in your own space or baking a fresh loaf of banana bread and pulling it out of the oven as your children walk in the door from school. It’s the warm hugs your children give you for no reason, it’s the joy in their faces when they tell you about something exciting that happened in their day, it’s the ability to just be there for them… they are the things that are important, not a complicated love interest, unappreciated friendship, bitchy gossip at work, how much money you have in the bank or how the politicians are going to make life harder. If you take out all the things that don’t make you feel comfortable in your life, you can move on and enjoy exactly what you love about your life. Don’t watch the news if it’s heartbreaking, put your head down at work and avoid the gossip, realise that a friendship has had it’s day and it’s time to move on…

Because once you do, you will find yourself feeling freer and your heart lighter… your energy is there for all the things that matter and you will find yourself singing songs that you haven’t heard on the radio recently or on your iPod, but they are songs that sum up how you feel. And you feel great!