People often talk about how listening and hearing are two different things… ‘hearing’ is when you heard what’s said but don’t take it in (like, in one ear and out the other), whilst ‘listening’ is taking in what’s been said and considering what has been to the point where you’re ALLOWING to interweave your life with another’s, or not.
But listening is also ‘listening to what has not been said’ or ‘listening to what has been felt.’ It’s a multi-sensory state that brings love to you – love of yourself and love to the person you are listening to. It’s like when you make love to someone and you can feel them on the urge of peaking and you want to maintain that feeling for them as long as you can without changing your motion or creating a distraction. If you are truly listening to someone, you can feel it in your heart exactly what is needed to ‘be’ for that person, if it’s helping, celebrating, embracing or consoling… just simply ‘being’ is the truest form of loving, and listening. It’s a sense of togetherness, not defensiveness. It’s not fighting at odds within yourself or another, it’s allowing nature to take it’s course and enjoying the present.
So when you feel that sense of connection through your listening, you can love with that connection. You can ‘be’ something to somebody else. You can ‘be’ something for yourself. You are rewarding yourself and the people around you with your undivided attention, your dedication and compassion, and in turn love finds its way and fills your heart with joy.
But what I’ve found is, that if you are at odds with yourself, defending yourself and your life, there is no chance you are actually listening to what is needed to allow love to come in. The listening has to come from deep within. When you’ve got a ‘STAND BACK’ sign on your forehead, you’re not prepared to listen to people love you, because you’re not in a position to feel loveable, desirable or worthy. It’s hard to break that defensiveness, until you find that one who puts it all into perspective for you.
So, if you really want to love someone, or be loved, listen to your beau, your child, your mother, your friend with your whole heart and soul, feel their hurts and hardships, embrace their celebrations, and SHOW them exactly that you understand them, and that’s when you will feel the warmth that happiness and love bring together.