So exciting that it’s tomorrow! Yay! I know I’m biased, but you will love reading it because there is a little bit of everything in it – adventure, love, sex, life choices, freedom, happiness, simplicity and joy … but today I want to focus on the happiness part.
Now the sequel of “On the Road to the Best Orgasm Ever” is called “Calmer Suits Her.” It’s at the planning stages at the moment, but I have a love for all things French and there is going to be a slight French theme to it. There is a reason for that… the French are great people to learn from in regards to being happy. They call it ‘joie de vivre.’
I was reading something today that put that into perspective… ‘Joie de vivre’ means ‘joy of life’ and it really is the French motto for living. Whereas, the American motto, and some may say ‘the capitalist motto’ – true for all countries that consider earning a living as the highest measurement of success, is ‘time is money.’ So many westerners associate that the time they use to play with their kids, care for a family member, laugh with friends, smell the roses and even make love, is a waste of ‘time’ because they aren’t earning a dollar, pound, Euro, etc in that precious time. However, whilst some people, and we all strive to, love what we do when it comes to earning money, it shouldn’t be all we strive to do to ‘be’ happy.
And ‘being’ happy is a state of mind, not a bank balance or a bulging wallet. It’s STOPPING and appreciating the little things. The feeling of your dog’s fur, waking up to your children wanting to have cuddle time with you, enjoying the feeling of being naked, smiling at an elderly person when you pass them in the street, relishing in the taste and texture of a new food in your mouth, the feeling of water – if it’s shower water, rain drops, lake water or salty beach water on your skin, enjoying the fact that someone was comfortable enough to ask for your help – or in fact, that you could see someone needing help and you offer your kindness, all these things and so much more, helps you change your state of mind and allows you to focus on what is more important to you and what is more freeing to your soul.
I had a conversation recently with a work colleague about holding onto friendships way passed their use-by-date… She had been to a wedding of an old friend, and after a comedy of errors on her part, it was like the universe was saying to her ‘just walk away, your time here with these people/this person is done.’ And sometimes that happens with family as well. You’ve served your purpose in their lives, as they have with you, yet holding on for the sake of the longevity of the friendship, marriage or even the fact that this person gave birth to you, can cause tremendous negative feelings because you are doing ‘what you are supposed to do.’ You are ‘supposed’ to have a life long buddy, you are ‘supposed’ to be in a marriage till death do you part, you are ‘supposed’ to care for your parents as they brought you into this world, and thus you should be grateful and accepting of their weird and whacky ways, or your differing personalities. But for your own mental health, these people might be destroying your soul, and you need to walk away, even if that person still makes you laugh one-percent of the time… it’s the other ninety-nine percent that is slowly killing you.
And you can’t blame other people… it’s your happiness, not theirs. You have to live a life that makes you see the goodness in things and in people. If you can’t see good in certain people, you need to free them from your life and your energy otherwise you will never be able to see the beauty in life… the ‘joie de vivre.’
So going back to the French… they have a love of food, wine, landscape, fashion, history and most of all, themselves. A Frenchwoman will be happy in her own skin, love the taste of her own cooking, love crumbing a flower head of lavender in her fingers and smelling the intense aroma… she takes the time to enjoy life, as we all should.
I know I can be guilty of the ‘time is money’ analogy, because that is what I grew up with… however, I much prefer to ‘let things happen’ for the sake of enjoying whatever is around the corner, because letting the control go, allows happiness to blossom.