How is it that some people have this aura of inspiration and others inspire you to run away? As a human condition, most people like to associate with those who have some spirit and sense of achievement in their lives, but there are those who are inspired to help those who are less fortunate. But how do you achieve a balance of ‘receiving’ the inspiration, and ‘giving’ the inspiration?
I have friends and family who inspire me, and those who have done nothing to be inspired about. For instance, an old friend had her first child at 20, put herself through university to get her teaching degree in Japanese, then after a few years, became head of the Japanese department of a private Melbourne school, all while being a single mum, saving for a deposit for a home and tossing up if she should keep her son’s father in their lives while he gambled his (and sometimes her) money away. She gave him the ultimatum, which he took seriously, and now they are happy together, married, have a second child (13 years after the first) and twins on the way. Her story is a private struggle of doing the right thing by herself and her son to give herself the family she always wanted. They now struggle financially, while she quit her job to have more children, but she seems a lot happier enjoying motherhood with a partner.
I have another friend, who is very materialistic and needs to be ‘seen.’ She has the best of everything (or so she thinks) – the best dog, the best husband, lives in the best part of the world, has the best friends, the best lifestyle. She is constantly doing adventurous things – gliding, rock-climbing, sailing, etc. She is a snob when it comes to wines and restaurants, travel and pedigree pets. And when you get an alcoholic beverage into her, she becomes all high and mighty about how crap your life is, and how you should be more like her. She expects you to have the same ambitions as her. She is totally judgemental about what you ‘should’ be doing and what is not acceptable, in her eyes. But when you break it all down, her life ain’t that great (and she is constantly asking for little loans from either her parents or her husband’s). When she travels, she expects life to be better than what it is at home or it needs to live up to her expectations, and if it’s not, she leaves. She’s a hard worker, no doubt, but her mind set is based on her finite and very limited knowledge, not on expanding that knowledge through experience and acceptance.
For an adult, my lover inspires me the most. He works extraordinary hours, volunteers his time to the greater good of the medical community, he’s always there for his children – sports coach, removalist, teacher, friend, babysitter, etc, he’s physically active – he runs, plays tennis, plays golf, mountain bike riding, he is diligent in eating well, he enjoys quality and comfort, but knows how and is happy to slum it if he has to, he has a passion for nature and animals, and we both have a passion for writing. We inspire each other, and that is what makes our relationship what it is. There is no one-sidedness, we equally bounce off each other, to encourage each other to take on the next hurdle with courage and strength.
But most of all, my boys inspire me. They are the reason why I work so hard, they are the reason why I come home everyday, they are the reason I have my protective senses up to ensure they don’t get hurt, they are the reason why I get out of bed every day. They inspire me to succeed and give them a better life.
All in all, people who inspire, don’t have expectations on others. They live their own life without expecting others to approve. They relish in the simple things in life and take on whatever is handed to them on their plate. They don’t judge, they get on with life. They are happy because they are giving to the greater good, not to their own financial or emotional gain. They have a spiritual connection with the world. They love unconditionally and they are proud of who they are. To be inspiring is one of the greatest gifts you can give…