It’s now been five months now since I finalised my finances and divorce with my ex-husband and have had a yearning to make new tracks towards a brighter future. But those new tracks keep getting road blocks that stop me from doing what my heart craves to do. Is it karma? Is it the universe telling me ‘not yet?’ I just don’t know, but none of how I live my life right now feels right, it’s just what happens to be the ‘responsible’ thing to do.
I’m sure there are many people in this boat where their hearts want to be elsewhere, if it’s on the other side of the world, if it’s doing a different job, if it’s helping out in a poverty-stricken community or being by a sick loved-one’s side. We tend to give ourselves heavy financial burdens that stop us doing what our heart’s dearly want to do… the place where we feel most at peace.
So for me, I unleashed all the financial burden, lightened the load so I could be free, but bureaucracy stopped me from pursuing my dream… Why? Because of archaic laws that allow illegal immigrants venture into a country for the pursuit of happiness, taking advantage of easy borders to cross and the public system that gives free education to all those who want it, which in turn stops those who are willing to pay their way in society, not be a burden on the public system and do the right thing by the country they choose to enter, not a chance to enter, ever again without a Visa. I was guilty before I even get a chance to try and prove that I would actually leave the country when my time was up… so I must sit and wait for the right opportunity to arise for me to be allowed into the so called ‘land of the free.’
So as I sit and wait, I find new adventures close at hand. As we are currently living in inner city Melbourne, it’s easy for us to walk down the street and find all sorts of international cuisines, interesting people and street-wise events. We have prostitutes standing on the corner of our street, an Aboriginal commune around the corner, and a mission sanctuary for homeless people up the street, so there are a few humbling things to show my boys what life can be like, but we also have vintage ware shops, a vibrant entertainment scene and some amazing parks. We went for a walk the other night to get some dinner, and the boys noticed a blue light in the park as we passed it. I explained to them that the blue light was to deter heroin addicts from shooting up in the children’s park because they drop their syringes there, which makes it dangerous for children, and the blue light makes it hard for them to find their veins. So as we take some more eye-opening adventures, they are learning about some of the hardness in life.
The next major adventure is a trip to Fiji in a couple of weeks, but prior to that, we need to find a home to live in! Something we can call home for 12 months… It will be sad to leave St Kilda, because I love looking out the window seeing the night lights, the blue sea water and the ever-changing sky. But it’s time to really settle down and start again…