I had an interesting conversation with a client today. He said that he is the radar for his wife’s girlfriends who bring new men over to ‘show them off’, and he will instantly tell his wife’s friends what he thinks of their new beaus. He said it was interesting, how powerful women – those with great jobs, know how to stand on their own two feet, are strong, sensible women, somehow attract themselves to low-life ‘dickheads.’
His generic term for a ‘dickhead’ is a guy who has no or a low paying job (which you don’t know about, because he hides it well under his lies in the form of ‘self employed’), seems to sit around with friends (or alone) drinking all the time, big-notes himself about how well he is doing, and make out that he is some type of millionaire with his flash cars, expensive taste and over-the-top stories. There is nothing genuine about them, and somehow, these amazing women attract themselves to these guys.
Why do we do it? Why do we belittle ourselves into thinking that these poor excuses for men are actually worth the time that we give them? Is it because, really successful men are intimidated by our womanly success and it’s hard for us to snag an ‘equal?’ Because the really successful men are used to having a wife as a secretarial slave? Is that it? It would be too much for them to have a high powered woman who didn’t take orders – they’d have to have their wives and their secretaries living under the same roof to get anything done. Or maybe they are so used to delegating that they can’t do anything ‘real’ for themselves (you know, hang out the washing, do the dishes, find a matching pair of socks) because they have always had hired help.
But my question is, why are there so many male dickheads out there? What happened to the man who took on all the responsibility in the family – being the breadwinner, paying the bills, being the soccer coach, doing all the outdoors chores… where did he go? Did he get lost somewhere in the 60s and 70s when women started demanding to be considered an equal and man lost his place in the world? Did the ‘real man’ lose his identity because he didn’t know what was expected from him anymore? Or do we have a generation of molly-coddled Mummy’s boys that don’t know how to do anything anymore because they were conscripted to Vietnam and their Mummies didn’t want to lose them again, so they got pampered with everything?
Who knows, but it is truly difficult to find a ‘real man’ these days. A man who is principled, responsible, a provider, caring, compassionate, funny, strong, sensitive, attractive and is absolutely in love with you. If you do find yourself lucky enough to have one, don’t let him go. He is literally one in a million… and you are truly blessed.