Oh how I wish I could be dependent on others, but today is not one of those days. There are so many days that I wish I could have someone to cuddle up to, give me a massage, look after me when I’m sick, do the washing, etc, or even show that my feelings matter, but as a single mum, I don’t have those luxuries. I do though, have the luxuries of making my own rules to raise my children, I don’t get nagged, I don’t need to get anyone’s permission to do what I want to do, and my money is mine (or the tax department’s… sometimes I can’t work out who I’m actually working for). So I guess it’s all not too bad.
But I couldn’t even depend on myself today to do what I wanted to do for myself. I guess it was one of those days. I had a kid-free day (well for 9 hours of it, of which I have 10 minutes to go), so it was just me and my trust companion Dexter (my dog). We had a few things finish up on eBay, so we bagged them ready to send out when they PayPal notifications come in, we watched a movie, did the grocery shopping where I usually have the help of my kids to bring it in from the car… but, no, it was all me. I had dinner by myself with Dexter getting a few grains of rice off the side of the stable table while we watched TV (because I’m a sucker for sharing my food with him) and I wrote a couple of emails, which reminds me, I have to write a couple more. See! I can’t even depend on myself to remember!
However, I did have a couple of people depend on me. My best friend desperately needed a chat, and I was there for her. My second Dad also called to say Hi, and my nextdoor neighbour and I had a little chin-wag, while I got cuddles from her sweet daughter (who wanted to steal my wallet from me… hmmm). Oh, and Dexter depended on me to take him for a wee outside.
I didn’t even bother about yesterday’s word ‘Tired’ because I didn’t want to go too negative with my blogs. I just want to bring a little distortion of funny and serious to say that life is what it is, no matter how we feel or who chooses to be in our lives. The reality is, we can only depend on ourselves to be the best we can be.