If we feel hopeless and down, are we more likely to attract people and situations that will drive us further into the depths of our problems? If we stay positive and exude confidence will we attract success and good fortune? But can we be more fortunate in some areas of our life but not in others?
For instance, our working life maybe doing really well – where we get good promotions as we work hard and gain success, but do we do that are forsake the love and warmth of a happy family life? Do we put the energies into some aspects of our lives but not others, and the areas that we tend not to focus on end up causing us more grief in the long run, so we stick to what makes us feel good about ourselves.
But it may not be as black and white as career and family, it could be that you focus on one area of your family life, like your kids, but don’t focus on your partner, parents or siblings, and your relationships with those people may fall to the wayside.
How do we maintain a balance and have success in all areas of our life? To be honest, I don’t think it’s possible. Even if you don’t have problems with people, people have problems with you. It’s human nature… jealousy can cause people to resent that you are doing well in all aspects of your life, or family and friends can hold grudges on things that you’ve done to them. At what stage do you decide that some situations are helpless and you give up on making that relationship work, staying in a job that doesn’t agree with you or realising that you are over your head with your financial commitments? When do you take sides and turn the other way?
I think we start to turn the other way when we can’t see any good in what that person, job or situation offers us anymore. Our instincts tell us that those people or situations don’t make us feel good about ourselves anymore, so we turn to things that do make us feel good. It is said, that humans are the only living being that tends to walk towards danger rather than run away from it, it maybe true in one sense, but in reality, we do tend to turn off to the negative ways people talk to us, the thankless job that is leading to nowhere or the pile of bills that just doesn’t want to go down. They don’t make us feel good about ourselves, so we ignore them.
So what is it that we can do to change ourselves to be more positive, more fun to be with, more excited about our future? For me, it’s realising what’s most important. Hugging my kids and letting them know that I am there for them. Wearing clothes that make me feel good about myself, and not clothes that make me feel withdrawn. Indulging in a bath and reading a book. Feeling the sun on my skin. And laughing with good friends… Do we prioritise the things that make us happy in our lives and choose to change those things that aren’t fulfilling us anymore? Do we start taking the small steps to create opportunities for ourselves that allow us to move on to greener pastures? Do we step up to being more helpful and supportive to family, friends and those less fortunate and need our help? Do we start ‘giving’ to the world instead of having high expectations of ‘receiving’ from the world?
A wise person recently said to me, don’t have any expectations on others and only rely on yourself, as you can only be disappointed with yourself if something doesn’t go the way you want it to. You are in charge of your own destiny, so if you don’t like the way things are going, do something to make it go in a different direction. If you take the positive steps, the positive steps will continue to grow. We have to believe in ourselves, we have to believe in the process, we have to believe that we are good people and we have to feel right about the paths we take. In most cases, it will get worse before it gets better, and we have to believe that it will get better…. because it will…