It’s funny how in one way, when things are taken away from you, you have a greater appreciation for them when they’re gone, but in other ways, when they are taken away from you, you can also feel the release of pressure knowing that the time is right for whatever it is to go and you can move on.
Is that how we define love? Knowing the difference between appreciation in our lives and pressure in our lives? The pressure causes huge amounts of exhaustion, stress, animosity and discomfort that can lead to both mental and physical health issues. It niggles at you, eats you up inside and you feel like you’re always treading on thin ice with that person. Whereas, when you have appreciation for a loved one, you have the ability to forgive, enjoy, laugh, show mercy, help and embrace the love you have for that person.
Love has a unique way of subtly creating opportunities that unite you more – finding shared interests, spending down time together enjoying each other’s company, reading to each other, listening to music together, or even a shared passion in cooking, walking, mountain bike riding or antique shopping. Things that you had never discovered about your partner, your family or your kids, it’s something that clicks, and you find you’ve got a common love, besides each other.
I guess, when you spend more time with your loved ones, especially on neutral terms, you both tend to open up about your hopes, wishes and dreams. Little things come to a head and the penny starts to drop about your loved ones hopes and fears. Your new found awareness of their desires helps you redefine how you treat that person, knowing that, you too, have unknowingly affected your loved one hurtfully and unintentionally. And if that aspect in your relationship is fixed, then it helps build your relationship into a stronger place.
And that’s where acceptance comes in. Acceptance only comes between two parties when animosity is dissolved. If one party remains to have animosity for the other, acceptance can not be acquired. There is always that hidden tension that causes stress and worry, the exact stress and worry that doesn’t allow a relationship to grow. It becomes stagnant and starts growing bacteria. And what do you do with those relationships? Do you try to mend them, or let them go? But how can you mend them if the other has the animosity with you? It will always be there, even if you try to talk it out. If they can’t be rational and get down to their deepest darkest feelings, resentments or fears with you, the animosity will always be there. So do you accept that is the way that person is, and they will never change, and walk away, or do you push on, knowing that a cloud is alway lurking above you whenever you interact with your loved one? It’s a hard choice… but you have to decide what’s best for you.
As your love grows for others, so does the love you have for yourself. You become more comfortable in your own skin, more aware of your senses, more in tune with your own needs and others. So best of all, love is good for our soul. It’s what we need the most.