I have a friend going through a situation at the moment where she dearly wants someone in her life, and he seems to want her in his life, but he has decided that he is betraying his family and wife by having her as his lover, and has decided to keep her there as a friend, but no longer a lover.
Hmmm… is that still a betrayal to his family? Me thinks so.
Because, even if his wife or family found out about their communication, their friendship is still clandestine, therefore his family would consider it still to be a betrayal, as they should know who his friends are, and he should be able to speak about his friends openly. Hmmm… but he doesn’t!
So, does my friend tell her ‘ex-lover cum friend’ that if they are friends, then he needs to tell his family about her and be open and honest about her to them; or they might as well continue on as lovers, because either way, he is still betraying his family.
Men just don’t get it… they think that sex is what is the intimacy factor of their relationship, when really, it’s the confiding and intimacy of conversation, that is where their wives lose all trust in them.
And the most amazing thing about all of this, is that his wife has been receiving information that he is up to no good, and he still continues the ‘friendship’ with my friend. And he tells my friend about it!! If he truly loved his wife and family more than my friend, he would have told my friend to leave him alone for good a long time ago… but he doesn’t. For over a year now, they continue to communicate several times a day, see each other a few days a week, and literally have a wonderful time together.
So what’s my friend say about all this? The problem is, she loves him. She knows they have something amazing between them, something that he and his wife just don’t have. She knows she deserves better than being someone’s sidekick, but she’s willing to see it through because what they have seems to work with her lifestyle. She knows he will never leave his wife, and that’s fine by her, because she doesn’t want a full time lover. She just wants him to recognise what he’s actually doing, and do the double life properly – loving both his wife and his mistress they way they both need, or give one away.
Really, men are their own worst enemies, aren’t they? 🙂