Calling for Mr Right!

Posted by in Relationships on October 28, 2012 0 comments

There’s a radio program at the moment looking for Melbourne’s Mr Right. And it got me thinking… how can we all have the same Mr Right?

OK… so he has to be handsome, absolutely in love with us, have a good sense of humour, helps around the house, a good provider, good with money and if you’ve got kids – takes on all the parental responsibilities and loves them as you do… but how about all the other stuff?

What about your attitudes in life? Does he have to have a strong work ethic? Would you mind if he worked too much? Is it OK to have different spiritual beliefs? Do you have to have compatible upbringings? Do you have to be compatible in the bedroom, that is, is it OK for him to be kinky where you’re conservative, can you be swayed over? Do you have to have the same attitude to money – will it be OK for him to like the finer things in life while you like the practical? Is it OK to put his mother on a pedestal while you live up to those standards? My list could go on… but are women out there hoping to find someone who ticks all the boxes and not happy with just the main ones?

Most of us settle… settle for Mr Right Now, not Mr Right… because finding our perfect man is almost unachievable. And when we have kids to think about as single parents, it’s almost impossible to find someone who you can trust enough to invite into your home and be a family with them as well. Trust is a big issue… most single mums choose to either have a sex life hidden from their children, others choose not to have one at all until they are comfortable enough with someone they’ve met to introduce them to their children. And really, in most cases, the ones who are happy to take on our baggage, happy to be inviting into our lop-sided families, are the keepers because they have taken on all of you as part of who you are.

But they are rare… rare to find, rare because they may have their own baggage and you fight over who’s baggage is more important… or they are enjoying their own sense of freedom now that they have separated/divorced from their ex-spouses and don’t want to take on more.

And then there is the other type of Mr Right… the Mr Right who ticks every single box in your eyes, heart and soul, as you do to him, but he’s not prepared to make the sacrifices that you do to continue your relationship… because of his insecurities and inability to accept change in his life. And that’s what breaks your heart. Because you know you are right for each other, you know you can make it work, but it all seems too hard for him because he’s lived his life the way he has for so many years, and can’t make the readjustment. If it’s meant to be, it will be…

So to have a radio competition to find a collective city’s Mr Right, is probably not a perfect scenario… and it’s interesting how many of the nominations are already married men. So if he is so rightfully Mr Right, then no one else can have him… which in effect makes you think, what’s the point?!