We fall in love for different reasons… and most have absolutely no practical reason. Most can’t understand why we fall in love with one person when they believe someone else is more suitable, more practical, more eligible and more deserving of you. And the main reason why we actually fall in love, really fall in love, fall in love down to the inner soles of our boots, is that that person has truly touched our soul.
One thing we must believe in is that there is definitely more than one true love for all of us. And they can be found in absolutely every corner of the globe, but they are just as likely to be the boy next-door. What I’ve been told more recently than not, is that I glaze over people too quickly and I need to stop it, because every person have their own merits and I will never know when I will trip over that special someone. And I’m sure there are many of you who are guilty of the same, as our expectations are too high because we believe we need Mr Perfect. We must keep our eyes open to the possibilities that Mr Perfect could literally be anyone, even if there isn’t the instant attraction.
My experience with love is that I’ve substituted the love and affection I should have been getting from my parents at a young impressionable age and given it to a boy, because they were prepared to give me the love, affection and attention that I wasn’t receiving from them. I craved love from an early age, with my first ‘true’ love coming into my life at the age of thirteen and we connected on levels that I was too young to understand, but his love for me was what I felt love should feel like. He has always been close to my heart, and we have met up, platonically, a few times over the past 24 years, and it’s only been recently that we found each other again and have rekindled our platonic friendship. That’s what true love does… despite any hurdles, it always has a way of finding each other again.
The next person to give me the love and affection that I craved was my husband. He was overwhelming with it, sometimes too much, but I lapped it up because no one else important to me was showing me the love that I so dearly desired. It wasn’t until I had my boys, that their love overtook the love he gave me, because I felt important to someone else, and their unconditional love is more empowering than any love a partner could give you. And this is where we became stuck – my love for my children made me defend my children every time he felt they had done something wrong. I was always on their side, explaining that they were too young to know the difference, that the punishment he had for them was too severe, that I had to protect them, nurture them, be there for them because they had no one else who they could depend on.
I now have a new love. He will never overtake the love I have for my children, as I will not take over the love he has for his children, but he is in a league of his own in so many ways. He has touched my soul like no other. He is my teacher, my inspiration, my motivator, my lover and my protector. He has the most beautiful caring soul, a forgiving heart, an intellect that is so profound and he knows how to make me laugh out loud. Oh, how he makes me laugh. Something my husband was never able to achieve. His smile constantly moves me, his loving nature is just awe-inspiring and his ability to surprise me at times when I’m feeling down or just want some reassurance is undeniably ethereal. We are connected by a force that is greater than ourselves, and I truly believe that there is no other way to be loved by another.