Fighting for Love…

Posted by in Relationships, Single Mum Life on September 20, 2012 0 comments

I wasn’t sure if I should call this post ‘Fighting for Love’ or ‘One Sided Love…’ I guess it’s all in the perception of it all. But then you can decide what’s best at the end of reading this πŸ™‚

When you love someone whether they are your child, your lover, your spouse, your friends, your family, whoever they are, you do everything in your heart to protect them, support them, nurture them and be there for them. You show them your love through your communication, your active involvement in their lives, your impromptu hellos, your ability to make them feel good about themselves, your ability to make them get out of a mood, your hugs and your smiles. You make selfless acts to show them your love and how much they mean to you.

So when those elements of love aren’t being given to those that you say you love, then do you really love them for everything that they are, or are you fighting for a different cause? Are you fighting for power, for justice or to combat loneliness just to have someone in your life? And do you really think that it maybe time to let go of the person or people that you say you love, because you aren’t doing enough to show them that you do actually love them? If you truly loved someone, then your love would shine from within and not look like it was a burden to give.

So when someone you love disappears out of your life for the varying reasons that they do, do you fight for what you truly believe in? Do you do everything in your power to make them realise that your love for them is real, that you are always there for them, that you care for them deeply and you would do anything to have them back? Yes you do! Of course, there is the adage ‘if you love someone set them free, if you let them go and they come back they are yours, if they don’t they never were.’ So many people allow time to heal, allow them to recognise what they love about you and then we reconnect with long lost loves, family members and spouses. But does it work in all cases?

Obviously not, because they wouldn’t have said in the adage that if they don’t come back, they never were yours… So why can’t we fight for the loves in our life, show them the depth of our love for them, and what they mean to us, make them realise that what you actually have between you is worth holding onto? Why can’t we allow our loved one to feel our love even if they choose to leave us out of their lives, just to let them know that we are always there for them? It’s not an obsession… it’s the power that love gives you to show people how much you deeply care for them, want them to be happy and want them in your lives.

Arrrrgghhh… such a frustrating argument. But in the end, love knows no boundaries… if you’re fighting to keep your marriage intact, if you’re fighting to keep in contact with an estranged sibling or child, if you’re fighting for your truest love in your heart, you will do ANYTHING to ensure that they understand the love you have for them and the lengths you would go for them to be with them or have them in your life. That’s what love does…

Some relationships start with an ‘instant love’ – the love you have for your children and your parents for example but it can also be ‘love at first sight’ that you can have with your partner and you really know when you meet that person that you have that instant connection that this person is the one who’s meant to be with you. Other relationships start with a ‘grow to love’ like some partners and friends… Either the ‘instant love’ or the ‘grow to love’ can be one-sided or have their love fought for, but you will always find, that ‘the grow to love’ relationships are the ones that come and go permanently. They had no real love foundation because the love didn’t come naturally – the love is based on other factors that don’t play a part in their immediate lives anymore – in might be a parental bond in a marriage with their children but their children now have their independent lives and they don’t need to rely on their parents being together, it might be that one person values their religious beliefs more than the other and it creates conflict within their relationship, it might be a common issue with friends that you’ve both resolved and don’t need each other’s support anymore, it could be that you’ve got completely different interests and involved in different social circles, in any way, the love can fall away.

But when you truly love someone, there are no boundaries… no cultural, no age, no body of water, no social, religious or political boundaries. You do what you can to show your love. You do everything legally possible (some may go illegally possible) to have the person you love in your life.

Of course, there are reasons from the other side why they choose not to have you in their life, and nine times out of ten, they still do want you in their lives, but they are conflicted about either hurts that have happened within the relationship, moral grounds that they had set their life up to be and are unsure about the path their heart truly wants to take, that they are physically being stopped by someone to access you (legally or morally).. but in the end, you know that your love for them is strong enough that you will be together again, and the fight will be worth it.