Finding love in the retirement years…

Posted by in Relationships on September 7, 2012 0 comments

I met an 80 year old lady the other day who still had a little twinkle in her eye. We talked about her life, and how over her 80 years, she had had three husbands. Her first husband, the father of her children, died when he was 46, then she met a man who she married and it wasn’t long before she discovered he was an alcoholic and quite abusive to her, so she left him, and when she was 58 she met this wonderful man who was on the edge of suicide, was 18 years her senior, but for some reason, she felt compelled to care for him.

She said that they had the most happiest time together and brought so much joy into each other’s lives. They married and enjoyed each other sexually, on romantic nights out and had common interests like their bowling club and traveling through their twilight years. When she met him, he was lost living in Australia. He had recently lost his wife who passed away, committed to only knowing people from his ethnic club and didn’t know that he could have a more fruitful life without those things in his life. His English was poor, but for some reason, they understood each other and had the best of times together.

Sadly, he died two years ago at the age of 96, and she was actually his carer for the last 8 years of his life. She was selling his home to finalise his Will to be split between her and his only son, so she could move to a retirement village.

She told me that she had seen many retirement village units over the past few months with her daughter, and she has now found one. She’s excited, because she has a new kitchen and bathroom, a little garden to look after and there’s a great community feel of active retirees. Her daughter started nudging her to say that she might find someone special here! But she said, “No way, I think three men in my life was enough.” I then proceeded to tell her about my grandfather who always bragged about his stash of Viagra in his fridge to lure the retired ladies into his room… telling her that it does continue, no matter how old you are!

But it did make me think… Why do people, even young people, feel like there is an expiry date on our sexual needs and desire? I know it’s not the most attractive thought of wrinkly bodies bumping uglies and making sure that their pacemaker gets them through to their orgasmic delight, but I don’t think love, affection and intimacy could ever not be desired, no matter how old you are. I know you can switch off from it when other things dominate your life, but in reality, once you get touched with affection, it all comes back to you like a sizzling sensation that just overwhelms you! I’d hope that I have someone special when I’m 80 to have some fun with. No matter what age we are, we’re not dead yet, we still have feelings and desire… it’s only human…