Is Chivalry Dead?

Posted by in Relationships on February 25, 2013 0 comments

Most men these days have no idea how to romance a woman. They expect the bill to be paid equally, they choose to be germ-a-phobes when their girlfriend has the flu, they can’t make a decision in where to go or what to do on a date, and no matter how they feel, there isn’t a gift given without the expectation of a gift received. There are no doors held open, there are no unexpected delivery of flowers, there are no love letters sent in the mail. Emails and text messages are filled with text slang, so the lyrical poetry that the written word can have is lost through cyber translation. Is it the sign of the times, or have the men of our times, never been taught how to treat a woman with love and kindness?

Young men seem to want their ‘sugar mummies’ or MILFs. They love the ‘experienced woman’ and what she can teach him. All too often, some of my friends and I get approached by the 20 something year old and you can see they are only after you for one thing. Not once will they call you to see how you are if you are sick, not once will they send you flowers on your birthday, not once will they call around with some chicken soup when you’re sick. They are truly, all in it for themselves, they have not worked out that you have to actually care about a woman, look after her and seduce her before she will succumb to any sexual pleasure.

But the older man, he may still have it. I heard a story recently about a couple who were dating and enjoying there times together immensely. He had dated a few other girls over the last few years, and they were all too eager to ask ‘What are we actually doing here? Are we dating or are we exclusive?’ He had never been too eager to answer the question because he didn’t feel comfortable enough in the ‘dating’ to move it to a ‘relationship.’ So when he found this new woman, he was so smitten he actually asked her a question ‘Do you want to be my girlfriend?’ The woman was so flattered by his sweetness and how he cared enough to take her to the next step to actually have a ‘relationship’ with her, she of course said ‘yes.’ They were falling so much in love with each other they felt like teenagers again, loving every moment of their time together. No matter how clumsy, how juvenile or how pathetic is sounded, it was entirely romantic.

I think men got a little confused when the women’s lib came in and they didn’t know what was right or wrong in the romance department. They didn’t want to offend their girlfriend or those they dated, yet they didn’t know which way would offend them – the romantic ‘I’ll take care of everything’ way, or the ‘let’s be equals in this relationship’ way. It really does depend on the woman to work out which way to go, so I guess a few questions asked would always be the way to know how to treat the situation. But I think, all in all, men need to be prepared always to ‘take care of everything’ and not be offended if she’d prefer to pay her way. Especially a single mum, because most of us, just want someone to take care of us for a change.