Lies, lies and dishonesty

Posted by in Relationships on September 8, 2012 0 comments

As some of you know, I am a very big advocate for honesty. Mainly because of the intense hurt my ex husband lied to me in so many ways. In some ways his lies weren’t intentional, they were lies to make himself better than he actually was, and in fact his lies were more to himself, as he wasn’t able to prove to himself that he could be better, so he made it up and told the world about his illusion of international success, professional expertise, how he worked in the city, how he enjoyed his children and how much he worked so hard for all the things that he deserved. While at the same time, he told many people that my job was just something to help me keep busy while he was busy having his success. When, in reality, I was the one supporting his business financially, I was the one working my butt off, I was the one whose business was a success, I was the one who organised fun times with the boys and I should have been the one driving the Mercedes and going on overseas trips… I was just too busy working to tell people about my successes. And those lies and the fact that he couldn’t cope with his little luxuries that I gave him on a platter, were the reason why we split. And since then, the truth has come out… he doesn’t own a car, he rarely sees his children or interacts with them by phone or Skype, and he’s supposedly making under $800 a week, which means he’s hardly supporting his sons at all… It just shows the truth behind the man…

So when a friend gets blatantly lied to, if it’s my business or not, I will tell them. I am not judgemental, and I will respect my friend’s wishes to live the life they choose to live, as long as they are not being conned by those they choose to live their life with. I always tell my children that ‘two wrongs don’t make a right,’ ‘if someone does something you don’t like or annoys you or attempts to hurt you, be mature and walk away – don’t succumb to their pettiness.’ I would prefer that my friends be told if someone is hurting them than for them to be living with constant hurt or betrayal. It is then their choice to do something about it. Yes, I am instantly hurting them by revealing some badness in their lives unknown to them, but it is a hurt that is short lived compared with what they did not know what happening behind their backs, that could have devastating results in the future and if it lingers.

I have some dear friends who I treasure with all my heart, and I will do anything to make them feel safe, happy and wanted in the true spirit of friendship, no matter where they are in the world. If they don’t see my true intentions of their happiness immediately, I know they will in time and they will thank me for being the true friend, or the angel, that is always there for them, no matter what.