Why is it so hard to leave the past?

Posted by in Relationships on November 28, 2011 0 comments

The past can be a fountain of fabulous memories for some, and a pit full of sadness for others. Most of us have an unbalanced scale of both. Those who brace life with two hands and enjoy every moment generally are those with the fabulous memories and are eager to create more. Those who are full of sadness can’t seem to let go and find themselves dragging themselves deeper and deeper into a hole of depression and emotional uncertainty.

So how do we get ourselves out of the place that drives us mental? How do we take that first step towards happiness? Is it us holding ourselves back, or others doing it for us? It really does depend on the situation. But I guess the first thing to do, for all parties, is to accept that you have the right to change yourself, but not the right to change others. If you want to free yourself of the animosity and hurt caused by others, or that you have caused on others, then you have to let go of the guilt that you have, or accept that those people who have hurt you will not change. You have the choice to keep those people in your life or not. But the most important thing, is to stop the thought of those people eating you up inside and harming all your other relationships.

I know it’s easier said than done. I realised it within myself when I was on that road to recovery after I left my husband and was released from his stranglehold. I had 12 fabulous months of finding myself, creating new opportunities and seeing outside my personal reality that had been stifled for so many years. It was the same for my boys – they were opening up, having smiles on their faces and learning to enjoy life, because they had the mum they should have always had happy again. But then, it all came back to haunt us when we had physical and financial demands put on us through their father, and my past was back again.

But I have to believe that my happiness will come back and all my successes will be had through hard work, determination and a belief in myself. But for that to happen, I have to reflect that to the world. Show the world that I am above all those who pull me down. Show the world that I have the power to make a stance. Forget about the people who make you miserable and find the people who make you happy and are happy for you.

Hurt only continues if situations keep repeating themselves. There’s a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting to get a different result. If you can free yourself from that cycle, you will live a freer more happier life. Break away from it all, believe that you have the power to do so, and just do it. Look forward and don’t ever turn back.