A funny drunken story from a single mum!

Posted by in Single Mum Life on September 18, 2011 0 comments

I popped in to a friend’s house today while she was having a BBQ with her Mum, Aunt and Nanna, whom I’d never met before, but they welcomed me with open arms. The Aunt told a story that will stay with me for a while…

All she remembers is having two shots of tequila… the rest is what was told to her.

She found herself at Crown Casino and welcomed herself into the Members Bar. She was loud and happy and stayed for a while chatting to members. Soon enough, she was given a generous donation from Crown to leave the Members Bar, as she was not a member, with an escort from security. As she stepped out, she saw a man in a wheelchair, who wasn’t altogether there – a victim of a stroke with a slight physically impairment, she thinks. She thought she would rescue him from a crowd of people and take him to another bar, where he would have more fun, not really knowing if he had anyone with him. She had a fabby time, talking to him and a few other men who could see that she was a two-pot screamer. Men were attracted by her confidence, but she had made it blatantly obvious that she wouldn’t be having sex with anyone that night because her vagina got blown off in the war. But men kept huddling around her, listening to her stories, wanting to find out more.

Eventually, she made her way to another section of the casino, where a staff member hunted her down and told her that she had left her husband in a different bar (her husband, being the man in the wheelchair). She had to explain that he wasn’t hers to keep. Men kept buying her drinks, and she kept telling them she had no vagina. She then found herself in the basement where the bowling alley was. It was empty except for a cute Chinese couple down there, hugging and kissing. She felt sorry for them thinking that they had no where to go to make love, so she invited them to her house to ‘live.’ Her friend told her it wasn’t a good idea.

By then, it was time to take her vagina-less body home to wake up very sorry and sore then next morning. She kept telling her friend that she would be OK in the morning, after all, it was only two shots of tequila. 🙂

Have a great week everyone 🙂