It’s the end of the week, a big week in my camp of uncertainty, enjoyment and really feeling the love…
Uncertainty came with an optometry appointment for my youngest son who has recently been diagnosed with a learning disability and finding out the results and training required there. My day job has been slower than normal, so there is always concern there. And today I had my first hearing opposite my ex to finalise our matters… as the deep bottom of your stomach feeling was, there was no resolution and possibly thousands of dollars down the drain.
Enjoyment came with the fact that school holidays had finished and I had my space back again. The quiet in the house, the freedom to walk to school to pick up and drop the boys off, catching up with school mums I now call friends and catching up with non-school mum friends with proper adult banter – banter that makes you laugh out loud. I even loved the fact that I caught the train today to the city, and the freedom of walking around, not having to worry about where the car was parked, that you’re alone to be yourself, is truly liberating and reminded me of my school and university days. Where did the simplicity of those days go? Where you didn’t have to worry about car repayments, house repayments, the utilities were minimal and life was so much less complicated… really where did they go?
As for feeling the love, I’m feeling it from all sides now (except from the ex!). Family, friends, my kids, my lover, more so than I ever have… I guess now, maybe I’m letting them in more than I ever had because I’ve always been guarded due to the disdain most had for my ex, something that I would protect because he was my life, and most of us would protect the situation that we had put ourselves in. But I don’t need to protect that side of my life anymore, and that freedom rubs off on all those who are important to me, so the love is completing the circle.
So as for it being Friday, we’ve just come back from a slaughtering at basketball of 0-25 and a trip to the Pancake Parlour to commiserate, before getting ready to jump in a green-tea bath-salted bath to wind away the stresses. As for the weekend, soccer for child number 2, hockey for child number one, a call to the babysitter for tomorrow night and a lazy Sunday morning catch up with friends while the boys are taken away by their aunt for their birthdays to a surprise destination. (And there might be some afternoon naps watching some B-grade movies) 🙂