The Sex Shop Dilemma

Posted by in Single Mum Life on July 8, 2011 0 comments

Take one single mum and put her with a married mum and take them off to the local sex shop and see what fun you can have!

Oh the joys of the bright colours, the battery operated gizmos, the fluffy hand-cuffs, the slutty lingerie… there’s no darkened out windows anymore… it’s all out in the open, like our sexuality. The new sex shop is like an open aired warehouse with bright lights and dodgy looking change cubicles with overly tattooed beefy looking men with motorbike style moustaches on Harley Davidsons posted on the wall, supposedly there to boost your confidence as you get naked and try on the skimpy lace number that might just get you laid tonight (but may also be a turn on for Harry trying on the ‘cheek chillers’ for the rodeo night his mate Bruce is having).

So single mum takes married mum for support to buy herself a new ‘rabbit’, as her last Bugs decided to say ‘that’s all folks’ before blowing a gasket and running out of steam. With no current man in her life, ‘Bugs’ is her saviour, the one thing she can’t live without and it is truly an urgent mission to find a replacement, which she finds… ‘Roger.’ As single mum is excited to find her new companion, she convinces married mum to buy one for herself, one thing she can’t imagine using when she has such a stud muffin giving her explosive orgasms at home… So the novice vibrator shopper begins…

What is on offer? How is this one different from that? The married mum is shocked. So many different types to choose – ones that rotated this way and that, have 104 different settings, and those that point and poke at you in a variety of ways. She is introduced to the infamous ‘rabbit’, but didn’t realise that there is also Flicker (a dolphin), Whiz (a hummingbird) and even Sly (a snake).

“Can I please have one that isn’t an ‘animal?'” married mum asks as she doesn’t want to be reminded that she had some wild beast between her legs as she tries to climax on a piece of cold rubbery plastic.
The sex shop lady shows her some more ‘traditional’ versions of the vibrator in ‘red hot lava,’ ‘passion pink’ and ‘green with envy’ to give her a taste of automated pleasure without wanting it to dominate her sex life. She walks out with ‘passion pink’ and single mum is pleased that married mum has finally joined the toy ownership club.

Married mum goes back home, unsure to tell her stud muffin husband about her latest purchase. As his last wife preferred her toy to him, so he is absolutely petrified of them. She decides to tell him, on the basis that she would only use it when he wasn’t home, and promises him that it will never come out in one of their passionate moments. He is satisfied, she is satisfied even more (now that she has sex on tap!) and they live happily ever after with ‘passion pink’ nicely tucked away in the nightstand.